Public Service Announcement

Beaters

Picture this:  A series of books about a 40 something, uber-aggressive, divorcee, alpha female, who preys upon un-suspecting newly wed men.  They decide to make a movie, and Kate Upton is the leading lady.  Men line the movie theatres to get a ticket, and sit around with their buddies watching Kate Upton “demolish” young men.

But I digress….

Man, who knew cheerleading could get people all worked up?  I mean HOLY COW people get worked up.  I still remember going into Dallas as a teenager to watch the girls from Martin perform in the National Championships at the Convention Center.  Little did I know that I was going to marry one of ‘em.  Then again I’m glad she was a cheerleader long enough to get dropped on her head a few times,  how else can you explain her decision to marry me?

But I digress….

I have something to get off of my chest.  Just consider it a public service announcement.

Pay attention.

If you’re an adult male, stop using the word “delicious”

Stop it.

My mother was a stay at home mom until I was in high school.  As a result of this, my brother, sister, and I spent a lot of time around other stay at home mom’s houses with their kids.  We spent time at Ladies Bible Studies in the middle of the week.  Wherever women congregate, there is going to be food.  Especially when the group largely consists of moms who work at home.

Now, I’m not a woman, but in those settings, you hear the word “delicious”…… a lot.  As a casual observer over the years, I’ve decided the word almost turns into an adjective that modifies how terrible the cooking is.  Or it is a word used to heap an inordinate amount of praise upon a moderately tasty dish.   It’s also a word that allows you to only take two or three bites of a concoction you really don’t want to finish eating.

I could be totally wrong in my assessment of the woman’s use of the world delicious.

As young boys, there is no bigger smile on a mother’s face than when her little man tells her how delicious dinner was.

However, when grown men use it, it’s just creepy.  Men should never use the word delicious…….ever.

Men should use some kind of powerful word like awesome, fantastic, or unbelievable.  You might even use an explicative when describing food……but NOT delicious.

You know I’m right.  In fact, right now, you’re saying the word and realizing just how creepy it sounds.  Before you go to bed tonight, you’re going to look in the mirror and say it.  It will be then that you will swear off the word for the rest of your days.

That is how passionate I am about eradicating this word from the adult male’s dictionary.

Except when describing red velvet heart cakes from Little Debbie, those are delicious.

 

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